the optimistic realist

*crickets chirping*

It's been pretty quiet here. I've been meaning to post, but I just can't seem to find the time. I'm making the time in between bites of my sandwich.

July was spent figuring out my health issues. After establishing patient care with a new PCP, I've had to go through ultrasounds, a biopsy, a bunch of blood tests, and new prescriptions. The biopsy was benign, thankfully. I also have a new diagnosis. I do have hypothyroidism, which I knew. Now, after the ultrasounds and biopsy and working with an endocrinologist, I have hashimoto thyroiditis, which is what's causing the hypothyroidism. There are a lot more symptoms associated with it, which I have been experiencing, but my PCPs have always dismissed it since they are not specialized with endocrinology. 

I have to go in next Monday for more blood tests and see where I'm at. I think they'll have to adjust my medication a bit since I'm still experiencing symptoms that I shouldn't be if my meds are fine. I am feeling better, but you wouldn't know if today, as I've been staying up far too late every night this week, and my body can't take it anymore.

Because I've been feeling better, I feel like the old me is slowly coming back. I can't really explain it, other than I've felt like I've lacked direction in my life, and I was wandering aimless. Sure, I didn't seem much different because I was still going to work, socializing, and doing things, but I only did stuff when it took no effort. Now I'm actually motivated to be out and about and there's a level of excitement that wasn't there for a long time. I wasn't sure if these things were tied in to my physical health or my emotional/mental health, because things definitely haven't been the same since my dad passed away.

I'm dying for a mental health day, and I've scheduled one for next Monday. Though technically, I'm taking off for a dentist appointment and getting some blood tests done. This way I can use sick time for the whole day off.

This weekend, I have a surprise party to go to for Craig, then I'll be heading to Milwaukee to meet up with MJ to belatedly celebrate my birthday with brunch and seeing Phantom of the Opera. I've never seen it (on stage or the movie), and it's one of her favorites, so I figured why not. Then I'll meet up with MKE Lisa afterward and stay the night there. Not sure what she has planned, but she's said she would have plans for us by the time I show up.

As for the boy front, I'm slightly torturing myself with the Prince yet again. It's because I'm stupid and a masochist. There's also another possible love interest developing with the Friend. Both of them are causing mass confusion, but hey. At least life isn't boring.

All work and no play.

I feel like right now my life revolves around work. I had been doing things on the weekends, but now I'm just spent. I need some time to myself to regroup.

I was supposed to go to IL these last two weekends, but I opted out. Last weekend, I ended up working through so I could have Wednesday and Thursday off as flex time instead of vacation time. That worked out well, and it was just as well since my mom was in the midst of painting and installing new carpet anyway, so the house was a mess. Also, she and I had a conversation that I'm still simmering over. I think I'm at the point in my life where I don't want to tolerate my mother's bullshit and double standards anymore. As a result, I missed out on seeing Elvis and going to Ron's and Vicky's birthday parties. Small sacrifice for sanity, right?

I took Wednesday and Thursday off because Jon, Lyn, and Lucia were visiting. We didn't do all the things we wanted to do, but that's okay. It was super hot those two days, and being outside on Thursday just wiped us out. We went back to my place to eat, and we ended up taking naps instead.

This weekend, JP and Jo were having a beach party. I also found out April was coming to visit for the weekend. Since I'm still pissy over my conversation with my mom, and it was indirectly about April, I just didn't need to see either one of them this weekend. 

My weekend trip with Jac and Lisa was cancelled. I might still go anyway since Elizabeth is going to be around for a convention, and I'd like to see her. But then that's also the weekend of Jenn's birthday and I'm still thinking of going to see her. 

I also decided not to go to Alicia's wedding. As much as I'd love to see Alicia, none of our mutual friends are going! I kinda feel bad, I haven't seen Alicia in ages. At the same time, I hate wedding receptions.

Mobile blogging a-go-go

For whatever reason, I can't seem to compose in Vox right now. I can enter a subject, type out tags, but I can't type anything for content, so I'm giving this a try.

I haven't been cooking or baking very much lately. Still doing my weekly gig as a volunteer baker at the hospice, which has been going well. I hate to make mistakes there because it means that they won't be able to sell anything, so I'm very conscious of making sure things turn out well. So far, everything has been well-received (even the mistakes), and I'm learning valuable lessons.

My new thing lately is making ice cream. I don't eat much of it, but now that it's warmer, I prefer making ice cream over baking something. I've only made three batches, so I'm still learning what to do and what not to do. The
first batch of ice cream I made was chocolate, and that turned out okay. When I melted the chocolate, some of it seized, so even though the finished product was still tasty, the texture could have been better. The second
batch of ice cream was strawberry, and that was better than the chocolate, but I should've cut the strawberries smaller or pureed them because they were frozen in the ice cream. The latest batch is French Vanilla and the taste is perfect and the texture is heavenly!

Because I'm using less fat and sugar, I know making ice cream will be an ongoing experiment. I think I'll try making lavender vanilla next.

Mental Break

I had planned on working during the weekend, but I just couldn't do it. I've been working entirely too much and I recognize that we have deadlines to meet, but I really just needed a day off. My place has been a hot mess, so I spent Saturday cleaning the kitchen, washing dishes, and organizing my cabinets. 

Sunday was spent cleaning my balcony from all the dust and bird shit. I have no idea why, there have been pigeons camping out on my balcony. Madison isn't a city riddled with pigeons, no idea where they came from. The cat's been going nuts trying to get at them with the sliding door opened a crack. I've cleaned all the furniture, washed the cushion covers, and put out some plants.

Last night was game night at Anne's. I got my ass kicked in Scrabble, which hasn't happened in a LONG time. Other than that, game night was rather uneventful, but I still had a good time. Stayed out too late though, I had a tough time waking up this morning.

I recently acquired a stand mixer, financed with my tax return. I'm also tired of not spending any money because I've been watching my expenses, saving money for trips I may or may not take, etc. I was unsure with the purchase for a couple of days and debated whether or not I should keep it. After opening it up and using it, the inner debate has been settled: I'm keeping it! For the amount of baking and cooking I do, I don't know why I waited so long to get one! It hardly took any time to whip up a batch of lemon cupcakes. It's going to come in handy when I bake 5 different treats in one evening for my 5-year anniversary at work, which is coming up. Still trying to decide what to make.

Where did the time go?

I haven't really journaled at all since the beginning of last month. Work has gotten crazy and now, in addition to getting our stuff done in an impossible time frame, we've been asked to help another department with their work so that they can finish within the impossible time frame. If we can deliver this next big release by the date that we've etched in stone, we have been told by anyone who matters that the company will fail.

So we begrudgingly work longer and longer hours, and some have martyred themselves by working over the weekends. Not me. I'd rather work longer M-F and have the weekends for me. As much as we've been working, it hasn't been too bad. Yet.

Just a quick update this time. Jenn is on her way here for the weekend. I'm taking a half day today and the whole day tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it. We don't have any concrete plans except for checking out a few movies during the film festival this weekend. Our movie line up for the weekend so far includes: 500 Days of Summer, Eleven Minutes, Serbis, Summer, 24 City, and Ghajini.

Next weekend, I'll be heading to Chicagoland for my brother's baby shower (we got what we wanted, a bunch of us are meeting for dinner) and for Easter brunch. My mom and Joe are heading to Oregon for Easter to spend it with Bud, Lisa, and the kids. We found out last week in the most roundabout way that Bud and Lisa are officially separated and have been living apart. Um, thanks for telling us. It saddens and upsets my mom so much that she can't talk about it without crying. Which is strange, she doesn't really like Lisa.

My good friend Jacolyn found a job after being laid off in December. The job is in Minneapolis though, so she's moving in 2 weeks. I'm happy for her, but I'm also bummed about it. I'm definitely going to miss her.

No time for much of anything...

Not even sleep. I've been lacking sleep lately, and I totally crashed yesterday. I left work 45 minutes early yesterday because I just couldn't hold my head up anymore. I promptly went home, changed into my PJs and took a 3-hour nap. One would assume that this screwed up my sleep schedule. It didn't. I went to bed at midnight, as usual.

Normally, a 3-hour nap would be of epic proportions and would guarantee a bed time of 2:00 AM. This tells me that I really was just that tired. I feel better today and got up on time for change.

February was all sorts of busy and fun. JP came to visit with Joanna, and I took time off to hang out with them. We ended up going to Wollersheim Winery while they were in town, even though I'm not really a big wine drinker. But then I realized it's because I haven't found many that I liked. Yay for delicious wine!

March is shaping up for an insane work schedule. We need to have all our English documents done by the end of this month to send our for translations in the beginning of April. The apps aren't locked down yet. I hate working with unfinished apps. I hate doing re-work, which will also cost more to re-translate any changes. It's all kinds of suck, which is why I think I'm so worn down.

I also took on a side project for a friend of a friend to edit a chapter of a book being published later this year. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and I'm being credited as either an editor or a contributor. Of course, it didn't pay anything, but at least I will get a copy of a book as a thank you.

I also signed up to volunteer at the local hospice. I've gone through the orientations and I can start after I get the results read from my second TB test, which will be this Friday. I'm not sure what I'll be doing yet, but I specifically signed up to work as a baker in the kitchen. I figure this will be good experience for me since I'd like to open my own bakery some day. Some parts of the orientation was hard and there were mulitple times that I wanted to cry (I didn't). Because of that though, I questioned how ready I am to be in that environment. I figure I would be okay being in the kitchen and not dealing with patients directly. I know I'm not ready for that now. I would eventually like to bring in Lucretia for pet therapy for the patients, but like I said, I'm not ready.

I was also roped into throwing a baby shower for my brother and sister-in-law. This was all sorts of drama, which is why I didn't want to do it in the first place. I'm still bitter about the wedding shower I threw for them because that was SO much drama and BS. I'm not bitter I threw them a shower, I'm bitter over the drama and BS. Anyway, the baby shower was shaping up to be a drama-ladened event, and then my SIL's mom decided to just throw her own. But because of her time frame, we won't be able to have all of our family come to the one we would have, so now I don't think there will be one after all. Which I'm perfectly okay with, I just hope my brother still isn't expecting one from us.

Vox Hunt: Quality Time

Show us who you're spending time with today. 

lucretia & moi

Today was my "all about me" day, so it was just me and the kitty.

QotD: My Competitive Side

What brings out your competitive nature?

Just about anything, but it's not consistent when the competitive spirit strikes. Playing games (board games, video games, card games, etc.), school, work, trivia at the bar, and even smack talking can get the competitive juices flowing.

QotD: Road Rage

Honking, tailgating, excessive lane changing... There are so many things that can drive you crazy when you're behind the wheel. So tell us: what's your driving pet peeve?

Lately, it's when people drive way below the speed limit. If there's a slow lane, move the hell over! If not, keep up the pace!

Weekend adventures in baking...

I have all the intention in the world to be creative in the kitchen during the work week, and sometimes, I can get it done. I couldn't fit any experiments during the work week, so I guess I made up for it over the weekend.

Yesterday, I had Jac, Lisa R, and Anne over to hang out. I made applesauce muffins that I adapted to be vegan for Jac. They turned out really yummy, but very sticky. I wonder why using soy milk makes batter super sticky? I'll have to research that for future reference.

Today, I made lasagna for the first time ever. I used the no-bake noodles and they were...un-al dente. They didn't really turn out well, though depending on what part you got a piece from, it may have been okay. Some parts I could tell the noodles were undercooked. And the sauce was very onion-y. I like onions, but I'm very particular about it because if I have too much, my stomach will get upset. I didn't think I used that much onion, but that's all I could taste in the sauce. I hope that it becomes less potent as it sits in the fridge. Plus, it was a pain cutting it up too, my eyes are still a bit wonky from it.

I also decided to do something with the Christmas leftovers I had: white chocolate bark and Tom and Jerry mix. I decided to make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies using both of those. The cookies are a little cake-y, which is fine. I didn't make the whole batch as I'm saving the rest of it for the weekend.

My ice maker malfunctioned a bit yesterday, so I had to take the water line apart to make sure it was still working. I put it back on, but apparently, I didn't put it back on tight enough and it was leaking. Good thing I checked this morning to fix it and clean up the water before my fridge became a casualty. Since then, the fridge seems to be running really loudly. I don't know if I should be concerned or not.

My place is totally clean and presentable, except for the guest bedroom. But hey, that's what doors are for. The test for me this week is will I be able to keep it clean for this weekend? Anne, Chris, and Billy are coming over for some board game action. It's going to be weird to have a boy over who isn't Chris or related to me. Oh wait, I've had other boys over but they were here with their wives, so they don't really count.

Billy is a strange fellow. Totally cute, but quirky strange. I totally had a crush on him until I realized he's still in college mode. He graduated almost 4 years ago. I guess he missed it because he's going back to school this fall. He's quitting his job this August.